Sunday, January 24, 2016

Life Reflections #1

I still remember that comment one of my classmates from my Swedish High School told me: 
"I can just imagine seeing you as a housewife living in USA with your American husband". 
Of course I denied all this, how dare they tell me I'd be marrying an American when I was (at the time) dating a British guy?
Then again I didn't realize how damn wrong I was, and how right they were... But how much do you actually know at 14-15 years of age?
That long distance relationship ended after 3 years and 10 day on an MSN Chat. And another 1 week until his mother told me the reasons why we had broken up.
Oh teenage love... so silly and so naive.

Now look at me - sitting at my laptop, wedding ring on my finger, I'm 23 and working part-time in Kindergarten in the town I was born in, still trying to puzzling my life together and having a hubby waiting for his Residence Permit so we can once and for all start over a new life just the two of us against the world.

I always expected me to be the hardworking partygirl until I was in my late 20's at least. But that won't seem to happen ha!
On November 6th, 2014 I made my wedding vows to the man who not only stole my heart - but showed me kindness, unconditional love and gave me a place to fit in.
I only had to find him across the Atlantic sea and dedicate 2 years of celibacy first. But now I have the papers to wave in people's faces, to show my old scary ghosts someone actually wanted me enough to dedicate their life and income to. That I AM worthy of laughter, silly moments and unconditional amount of kisses and cuddles.

I'd like to think I used to be a nobody, from my little northwestern town. Surrounded by 5000 people who were related, neighbors or ex classmates to one and another.
Or as I like to call it: "the Rathole"
Where the girls like to dress up in leggings, heels, and a nice jacket even considering the temperature went to negative 30 degrees Celsius (-22 degrees Fahrenheit), or where the guys likes to drink beer, drive around town or tinker with their precious hand-me-down Volvo.
Eventually you look around and ask yourself "Am I insane for staying and try to enjoy this crap? And if so, WHY am I still here?"

Thankfully life had a different idea for me.
I moved far away and lived life in a whole different country with different values. I traveled hundreds of thousands of miles away from home and got my brave-face on and took a huge plunge into the abyss of "what if?" and "hey-ho let's go!".

I do have to say that I am proud of myself, if this would've been me around age 19-20 I would've loved the idea but kindly denied because I was too scared to take a chance. Too scared to believe in my capability of doing anything.
Now I know I can. 




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